My children do not accept the Au Pair - What now?

You do the best you can to be a good parent. But sometimes life gets in your way and you need an extra pair of hands in your daily life. After a thorough research you have decided to host an Au Pair. You interviewed candidates and finally found your perfect match. At least that is what you thought. Unfortunately, your children do not seem to accept the Au Pair too much. So what can you do as a host family? Read on to find out.

The first Au Pair

If this is your first Au Pair, chances are that your children simply don't understand the situation. Why is there a stranger in your house to take them to school when their parents have been driving them all these years? It is always difficult to get used to a new situation. Therefore, sit down with your children and explain the Au Pair program to them. They might even be afraid of losing you, as many of the tasks you used to do are now part of the au pair's job. Tell them that you will always be there for them, but they now have an additional big sibling. This way they know that they are not losing anything, but instead are gaining a new family member.

The Au Pairs after that

It took some time, but your children have finally taken the Au Pair into their hearts. Unfortunately, a year can pass much too quickly and now it is time to say goodbye. You had a great time together, so you decided to participate in the Au Pair program again. Your new Au Pair arrives, but no matter how funny and cheerful she is, your children keep their distance. But why?

It is very likely that they miss their old Au Pair. Give your children time. They're still sad that their big brother or sister had to leave and they're not willing to replace her just like that. Involve your new Au Pair in as many family activities as possible. Your children may be able to get used to her faster. But try not to forbid them to talk about their old Au Pair. Even if they are no longer around, they are still a very important part of your children's lives.

From an Au Pair's point of view, I can confirm that the name of the old Au Pair often falls during the first weeks. But this does not mean that the children do not like the new Au Pair. It just means that they miss one of their best friends and talking about her is their way of keeping her close. It's actually quite cute when you think about it. And knowing that they'll probably talk about the next Au Pair the same way when they're gone is also a nice thought.

Finally: What should you do if your children do not accept your Au Pair? Talk to them, give them time and above all: respect their feelings. Your children are smart, I'm sure they will see the great person who is your au pair soon enough.

Sammy-Jo