Messaging

AuPair.com offers a built-in messaging system that allows Au Pairs and Host Families to connect directly on the platform. You can browse profiles, save interesting candidates or families to your favorites, and send a personalized message or contact request to start a conversation. Basic users can add profiles to favorites, receive and answer personalized messages from Premium users, and send up to 20 standard contact requests per day to new users to show interest. With a Premium membership, users can send personalized messages, read and reply to messages without restrictions, and communicate freely with both Basic and Premium users. However, if neither user has a Premium membership, personalized communication and full message exchange are not possible. After connecting, we recommend having at least 3 video calls before making a final decision about the match.

Messages on AuPair.com may be limited depending on the membership type of the users involved. Basic Host Families cannot send personalized messages and can only send contact requests to candidates. Basic candidates can send personal messages, but only Premium Host Families are able to read and reply to them. If neither user has Premium membership, they won't be able to exchange personalized messages. Messages can also be restricted if a profile does not match another user’s search criteria or preferences; however, the other user will still be able to see that you visited their profile or showed interest and may contact you first if they wish. These limitations are part of the platform’s system and help manage communication between relevant matches.

For safety, AuPair.com recommends keeping your initial communication within the platform’s messaging system. Messages on the website are monitored for fraud and abuse, which helps detect suspicious behavior and fake profiles. Avoid moving conversations to social media too quickly, as scammers often use external platforms to hide their identity. Take time to ask important questions about expectations, childcare tasks, working hours, and living arrangements. Never send money or personal documents and details to someone you have met online. If you notice suspicious behavior, you can report the user directly to the AuPair.com support team.

A good first message should be friendly, clear, and personalized. Start by introducing yourself briefly and explaining why you are interested in that specific Host Family or Au Pair. Mention details from their profile, such as childcare experience, hobbies, or family lifestyle, to show that you read their description carefully. Ask a few thoughtful questions to start a conversation about expectations or daily routines. Avoid very short or generic messages like “Interested” or “I need a job,” as they often receive fewer replies. Sending several personalized messages to different profiles can increase your chances of finding a good match.

Video interviews are one of the most important steps in the Au Pair matching process because they help you see the real person behind the online profile. Before the call, read the profile carefully and prepare questions about childcare experience, daily routines, expectations, and responsibilities. Choose a convenient time for both sides, taking time zones into account, and make sure you have a quiet place with a stable internet connection. During the conversation, discuss important topics such as working hours, duties, pocket money, house rules, and the Au Pair contract. It is recommended to have at least 3 video calls before making a final decision or signing any agreement. Video calls also help verify the other person’s identity and build trust before starting the Au Pair program. Find more useful tips for Au Pair video interviews here.