Moving abroad is difficult. Away from family, friends, routine and environment. One of the ways you, as a Host Family, can make the process of integration of the Au Pair into the family and culture smoother is to incorporate your Au Pair’s culture into family celebrations. Here you’ll find a few ideas and tips on how to achieve this :) 

Research her culture

The first thing you can do is research your Au Pair’s culture. Getting to know her culture, customs and values is the best way you can begin to understand how you can incorporate her culture into your celebrations as a family. With this research you will achieve two things:

1. You will get to know your Au Pair better: where she comes from and what her culture is like, how they celebrate holidays and why. It will give you additional background information on her.
2. The extra effort to welcome her into your home and family will show her how dedicated you are to making her feel comfortable and respected! It will bring you closer to each other and strengthen the bond between your family and its newest member!

Prepare traditional foods

Now, one thing you can be sure unites people all over the world is food. And coincidentally, that is the one thing you know you will find in any and every celebration. Preparing traditional foods from your Au Pair’s culture to eat at your celebrations is a great way to include her. As a bonus, it is also a great activity to do with the kids!

Certain celebrations, particularly religious ones like Christmas, Passover or Eid al-Adha, are traditionally celebrated in different parts of the world. For that reason, the foods and dishes that are eaten vary with geographical location. Even neighboring countries can have completely different traditional dishes for the same celebration. For example, traditional Christmas dishes can range from roasted lamb (in Portugal) to stuffed turkey (in Spain). So perhaps even if your Au Pair shares the same faith as you, in her culture, the dishes they typically eat are not the same. Or, if she is of a different faith, she most certainly has traditional foods you have never tried before. For Eid al-Adha, it is common to eat Rendang (Malaysian beef or chicken curry) or Lamb Kabsa (Saudi Arabia). 

Encouraging and helping her make these dishes to celebrate and share with the family is a great way to include her in your celebrations, and to celebrate hers! 

Include her customs in your celebrations

Some celebrations are pretty much international, like New Year’s, or those that are celebrated in almost every corner of the world. Merging your Au Pair’s traditional customs with your family’s is both a way of celebrating her culture and helping her deal with homesickness, particularly at times of holidays. 

A great example of how you can do this is when celebrating New Year’s. Every country has different ways to celebrate it, and different superstitions or traditions surrounding it. They can be small things like using a specific colour of underwear or eating twelve grapes, or really fancy ones like traditional fireworks or music and artistic displays. Find out what is done in your Au Pair’s country and surprise her by doing it first! All of these are practical customs you can incorporate in your family’s celebrations that are simple but significant for your Au Pair.

Attend your Au Pair’s celebrations in your country

In the 21st century, there is no way to deny how globalised our world is. And despite some of the disadvantages this may have, it also means that you can find a little home away from home anywhere. It does not matter where you are; if you look for it, you’ll probably find a foreign holiday or a foreign tradition being celebrated in your country. This happens mainly due to a high level of immigration from one country to another, and can create quite interesting and new traditions based on the original ones.

For instance, if you go to Brazil, you will find they celebrate a lot of traditional Japanese traditions, such as Akimatsuri (Autumn Festival) or festivals of Hanami (observing the cherry tree flowers) in many states around the country. Due to the fact that Brazil has the largest Japanese community outside of Japan, these celebrations have become a part of Brazilian culture as well. The same happens with Holi festivals, for example, that are celebrated mainly in India and a lot of South-Asian countries, but also have significantly large celebrations in the UK, Canada and Australia.

You can search and find such celebrations in your country and attend them with your Au Pair as a part of a new celebration for your family, and to make her feel welcomed!

But don’t force her to participate!

It is important to remember that in order to ensure your Au Pair feels welcomed and integrated, she needs to want to participate. This effort to incorporate her culture into your celebrations cannot be one-sided. Therefore, it is important that you communicate clearly with her what you want to do and how, to make sure you are both on the same foot. Sometimes people do not like or want to share parts of their culture for personal or religious reasons. Do not let miscommunication be the root of misunderstandings that can sour your Au Pair’s stay.

Always be kind and understanding, while letting her know that all you want is to celebrate and respect her culture!

In the end, all you need to remember is that Au Pairing is essentially a cultural exchange, which does not necessarily need to be one-sided. Celebrating your Au Pair’s culture is equally important, and shows respect and appreciation for her ;)