What Should I Do if Problems Arise During My Au Pair Stay?

ProblemYou agreed with a Host Family on an Au Pair stay, but now they seem to be ignoring your messages and calls.

SolutionTry to reach the Host Family again and give them a reasonable deadline to respond. If there is still no reply, you should not rely on the family any further and should look for a new Host Family. If you have already signed a contract, applied for a visa or made travel arrangements, inform your agency where relevant and clarify which steps are necessary. Do not transfer any money and do not travel as long as you have no reliable contact with the Host Family. If you suspect a breach of the platform rules, report the profile to AuPair.com as well.

ProblemThe Host Family is quite different from how you imagined them; in their profile they presented themselves differently.

SolutionBefore you decide on a family, you should hold several video interviews to get a good impression of them. You might also be able to get in touch with the family's previous Au Pairs, so you have a third opinion and can judge even better whether they really suit you. Dare to ask questions and let them know your expectations and requirements.

ProblemThe cultural differences seem bigger than expected.

SolutionBefore you arrive in the host country, learn about the culture and the country, and broaden your knowledge once you have arrived. The basic idea of the Au Pair program is a cultural exchange, so as a participant you should stay open to new impressions and experiences. Not every unfamiliar situation is unfair – different ideas about punctuality, cleanliness, closeness or communication are often culturally rooted and can be clarified through conversation.

ProblemThe language barrier is still too high: you find it hard to learn the host country's language and to communicate with the family.

SolutionDon't be afraid to speak! Take part in the family's conversations and ask questions. Show interest in the host country's culture and find out more about the family's interests and hobbies. Try to speak as clearly and distinctly as possible, and repeat yourself if necessary. Also make sure you have enough time to attend a language course to improve both your grammar and your pronunciation.

ProblemConstantly changing working hours, a lack of free time or travel costs that aren't covered make attending a language course impossible.

SolutionThe language course is a central part of the Au Pair program. Ideally, clarify before arrival when and where a course is possible, and adjust the weekly schedule so you can attend regularly. Raise the issue in writing and, if needed, seek support from the agency.

ProblemYou feel homesick, struggle to make new friends, miss your family and friends back home, or feel excluded from family life.

SolutionFeeling homesick is completely normal in your situation. The new adventure may be a bit much at first, but that doesn't have to stop you from enjoying your time as an Au Pair. In our Au Pair Wiki you'll find useful tips on making friends abroad. Talk openly about the fact that you're looking to connect with others, set fixed times for a language course and meetups, and sort out your mobility (public-transport ticket/bicycle). Always remember that you can talk to your Host Family about this and that they can support you!

ProblemThe family expects instant emotional closeness, permanent cheerfulness and participation in every activity – your need to withdraw is read as a lack of interest.

SolutionIntegration can't be forced – closeness and trust develop over time. You don't have to take part in every family activity, but you should be able to feel welcome. Talk openly about which shared time is pleasant for you and when you need quiet.

ProblemYou're exhausted after every working day because you work too long, don't have enough free time and have too many duties.

SolutionIf the duties the Host Family assigns you aren't set down in the contract or weren't discussed beforehand, and if you feel overwhelmed by the amount of work, first try talking to your Host Family and explain your situation. The Host Family may have the impression that everything is fine with you if you don't confide in them. Discuss your working hours with them and document your actual hours. Remember that you are mainly responsible for childcare and for light household tasks. If the family entrusts you with other tasks that weren't discussed beforehand, you can refer to the Au Pair contract in the conversation.

ProblemYour schedule keeps changing at short notice, you have no reliable start and end times, and you can't plan your free time.

SolutionIt's best to ask for the weekly schedule in advance, e.g. on Sunday. Changes should only be possible with advance notice (except in emergencies). Extra hours must be compensated with time off straight away and briefly noted down (hours/day). A written weekly schedule creates reliability for both sides.

ProblemYour duties keep piling up (childcare vs. housework) and you're used like a cleaner or housekeeper.

SolutionAn Au Pair is not a cheap full-time worker. Ask for a conversation and, together with your Host Family, draw up a clear list of duties (child-related tasks) as well as a weekly schedule. Also record what does not belong to your duties (e.g. cleaning the whole house, washing windows, gardening, caring for relatives). Have a short check-in once a week.

ProblemYou're constantly called on during your free time, asked to "just quickly" watch the kids in the evening, and expected to pitch in automatically whenever you're in the house. Days off aren't respected.

SolutionLiving with the family must not mean that you're never really off duty. Agree on fixed off-duty times that are binding, and deliberately plan free time outside the house. What matters is the distinction between voluntary participation in family life and mandatory working time.

ProblemYou don't have a proper day off, work every weekend or have no plannable holiday.

SolutionFree time is necessary so you can build up contacts, attend a language course and recover. Refer to the agreed days off and plan fixed breaks. The Host Family may know roughly when you'll be back, but should not monitor you like a child during your free time.

ProblemYou're expected to care for an infant alone for many hours, supervise several very young children at once, or give medication without clear instructions.

SolutionOnly take on tasks you're prepared for and that were agreed beforehand. If you feel overwhelmed or have safety concerns, raise it immediately. Ask for clear instructions and a reachable emergency contact.

ProblemYou get too little guidance/onboarding and are thrown in at the deep end.

SolutionAsk your Host Family for an onboarding week in which you go through the routines together (the way to school, meals, rules). After that, you gradually continue on your own. Use checklists for pick-up times, allergies and bedtimes.

ProblemIt's unclear how to act in emergency situations.

SolutionAsk for an emergency folder with the most important information (emergency number, doctor, allergies, insurance, contacts) as well as a short briefing: what to do in the event of an accident, fever, an allergic reaction, a child running off or a fire?

ProblemThe children don't accept you as their Au Pair, ignore instructions, and the parents don't back you up.

SolutionThe situation is new not only for you but for the children too. So hold a video interview not only with your host parents but also with the children. That way they can get a first impression of you. Once you're living with the family, try to take part in as many family activities as possible. Importantly: the parents must make it clear to the children that you are to be respected while you're in charge – you should agree on rules and consequences together.

ProblemOne parent allows what the other forbids; instructions come only verbally and hurriedly; you're criticised even though you stuck to earlier agreements.

SolutionAsk for concrete rules (do's/don'ts) for everyday situations and have them give you examples ("What do I do if…?"). Important rules – mealtimes, screen use, bedtimes, safety, pick-ups – should be put in writing and discussed regularly.

ProblemChanges aren't communicated, criticism is dumped all at once during an argument, and you're left out of important information.

SolutionAgree on a fixed weekly check-in where both sides openly say what's going well and what should change. A shared calendar and short written confirmations of changes prevent misunderstandings.

ProblemYour parenting methods differ from those of the host parents and the family doesn't agree with your methods.

SolutionPeople have different ideas about what good parenting looks like. Even if you're convinced of other methods, it's always the Host Family that decides how their children are raised. Discuss the topic with the Host Family and share your opinion, but keep in mind that the family has the final say. Also remember that an Au Pair may under NO circumstances use physical punishment!

ProblemYou have too little privacy, feel constantly "on duty", or family members enter your room without knocking.

SolutionYour room is your private retreat. Agree on house rules about privacy (the room is private, always knock, only enter with your consent – exception: a genuine emergency) and fixed off-duty times that are respected. Deliberately plan free time outside the house.

ProblemYour living situation isn't as promised/expected (room quality, noise, heating, no lock, a shared room, limited access to facilities).

SolutionBefore you arrive, discuss the living standard with a photo/video tour and ask your Host Family to put the key points in the contract (e.g. your own room, meals and access to facilities). If you're already on site, agree on concrete remedies and a deadline. If the situation can't be improved reasonably, consider whether you want to negotiate a new contract or terminate it.

ProblemYou feel watched or recorded (cameras, surveillance), and this affects your privacy and trust.

SolutionDemand full transparency about where and why cameras are installed, and insist on strict privacy boundaries – for example, that cameras must never be installed in private areas. If you feel unsafe, turn to a trusted person or authority and leave the place if necessary.

ProblemYou're expected to constantly share your location, send photos as proof, or the family checks your messages, clothing and friendships.

SolutionHouse rules for quiet hours and night-time access are legitimate, but they must be proportionate and respect the freedom of an adult Au Pair. If rules are too strict or unclear, negotiate a fair compromise together. In your free time you lead an independent private life.

ProblemYour Host Family won't let you invite friends over, or visitors and overnight stays are a constant source of conflict – even when you stick to the rules.

SolutionAsk right at the start whether your host parents allow you to receive visitors, and ask for clear visitor rules (times, frequency, overnight stays only by arrangement). You should follow their rules and discuss whether exceptions are possible. If the rules are too strict or unclear, a compromise should be negotiated that everyone is happy with.

ProblemThere isn't enough food, certain foods are off-limits, or you're expected to pay for groceries yourself.

SolutionBasic, sufficient board is part of the accommodation. Discuss different eating habits early – ideally already in the video interview – and it's best to include the details in the contract. You can sort out special requests together in a fair way.

ProblemYou follow a particular diet that differs from that of your Host Family.

SolutionThese days it's normal to follow a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle; allergies that mean you can't eat certain foods are also more common. As a rule, we recommend stating this information in your profile or raising it during the first video interview. It's often helpful to include diet details in the contract as well. Despite your own choice, in a non-vegetarian family you should expect to prepare meals with meat or other animal products.

ProblemThe Host Family doesn't pay the previously agreed amount of pocket money, or pays it late.

SolutionThe amount of pocket money should be set out in the Au Pair contract. If the Host Family doesn't stick to it, it's up to you to raise the topic and refer to the contract. If the host parents refuse to pay you the full pocket money, ask them why. Often there are misunderstandings, which are best cleared up in a direct conversation. You can also find more on this topic in our article What to do if the Host Family doesn't pay.

ProblemThere are unclear costs (tickets, fuel, mobile phone, outings).

SolutionAsk your Host Family for a simple cost overview: who pays for what? How are expenses reimbursed? Which expenses need to be agreed on beforehand? That way there are no misunderstandings or arguments later on.

ProblemYou're expected to drive the children but have insufficient instruction, unclear insurance cover, or feel pressured to drive despite feeling unsure.

SolutionBefore your first drive with the children, you should clarify the driving licence, insurance, child seats, traffic rules, practice drives and responsibilities. No one should be forced to drive children if they don't feel safe – in that case, discuss public transport as an alternative.

ProblemThe trip announced as a holiday turns out to be non-stop duty: you provide care in the evenings and at night, have no free time, or are expected to cover costs yourself.

SolutionBefore every trip, clarify in writing: is participation voluntary? Which times count as working time? How much free time is there? Who pays for travel, accommodation and board? Where will you sleep? Will extra hours be compensated? More information here.

ProblemYou're expected to work despite being ill, doctor's visits aren't made possible – or you're struggling with anxiety, depression, panic attacks or burnout.

SolutionAn Au Pair is allowed to be ill too. Clarify early how you can get medical help, what insurance is in place, and who to turn to in an emergency. If you're under mental strain: raise the problem early, try to reduce stress factors (a clear schedule, real breaks) and, if needed, involve local counselling services, hotlines, a trusted person or the agency. If the situation doesn't improve, you should consider changing Host Family or terminating your contract.

ProblemYou feel verbally attacked or exploited by the family, get shouted at, are treated disparagingly, or feel that nothing is ever good enough.

SolutionFactual criticism is fine; insults and intimidation are not. Set clear boundaries and say, for example: "I don't want to be spoken to like that." If you feel you're being treated unfairly, seek a conversation first. If you don't feel able to address the parents directly, find a trusted person – this could be contacts at an Au Pair agency or family and friends back home. If a clarifying conversation brings no improvement, consider terminating the contract and weigh up the consequences (e.g. an expiring visa). In serious cases you should inform the police and the immigration authority about the disregard for the program rules.

ProblemYou experience racist or demeaning remarks about your origin, skin colour, accent, religion or gender, stereotyped expectations, or unequal treatment.

SolutionThis is not a normal cultural difference and should not be played down. Set clear boundaries, document incidents (date, exact wording) and seek support from an agency, counselling service or relevant authority. You do not have to put up with discriminatory behaviour.

ProblemYou experience sexualised comments, unwanted touching, suggestive messages, or pressure towards physical closeness.

SolutionYou are NOT to blame for such situations. If you feel uncomfortable with the way the family treats you, try to talk to them about it so they know how you feel. If you don't feel able to talk about it, please try to find someone you trust who can help you. That could be an Au Pair agency or friends and family at home.

If you still can't find common ground with the Host Family, you may want to consider terminating the contract. Before terminating the Au Pair contract, think through all the possible consequences: for example, your visa could expire if you don't find a new Host Family in time.

If, however, you feel uncomfortable in the situation, do not stay with the Host Family, as the situation could otherwise get worse. Don't hesitate to file a report with the police if you feel the family's behaviour has crossed a line.

If you experience sexual harassment or serious boundary violations in the household, put your safety first. Remove yourself from the situation immediately and turn to a trusted person or an agency. Report the incident via the platform and contact the local authorities where necessary.

ProblemYou have problems with your visa/residence permit or your local registration (appointments, deadlines, missing documents).

SolutionClarify responsibilities immediately and make yourself a checklist of the tasks that need to be done, such as registration, appointments and required documents. Book appointments well in advance, keep copies of all documents, and, if anything is unclear, contact the relevant authority or the consulate. Ask the Host Family/agency for support if needed.

ProblemThe family threatens you with deportation, keeps your passport or important documents, or forbids you from contacting the agency or a counselling service.

SolutionYour passport and personal documents belong to YOU and may not be withheld. You are allowed to seek advice at any time – a reputable family has no fear of that. Get reliable information about your residence status from official bodies, an agency or a counselling service. If documents aren't handed over, seek support immediately.

ProblemThe Au Pair uses the program as a cheap way to travel to another country.

SolutionBefore you take on an Au Pair, get a good impression of the person. Hold a few video calls to make sure the candidate is interested in the program, tries to engage the children's attention, and wants to stay in touch with you.

ProblemThe Au Pair agrees to a stay with the Host Family but then seems to be ignoring further emails and calls.

SolutionWe understand how frustrating and disappointing it can be when an Au Pair suddenly stops responding after a firm commitment. Try to reach the Au Pair via the agreed channels and set a reasonable deadline for a reply. If none comes, you should not rely on the commitment any further and should look for another Au Pair. If a contract has already been signed, visa formalities begun, or an agency involved, clarify the necessary next steps there. Report the profile to AuPair.com as well if you suspect a breach of the platform rules.

ProblemThe Au Pair seems different from how they presented themselves in the profile. There may even be false references in the profile.

SolutionBefore you choose an Au Pair, arrange several phone or video calls to get a good impression. The interviews play an important role in deciding whether the candidate is the perfect Au Pair. Don't be afraid to ask questions, and talk through your expectations and requirements in detail.

ProblemThe Au Pair does only the bare minimum, constantly needs reminding about tasks, or shows little initiative.

SolutionBehind apparent laziness there are often language problems, unclear expectations or feeling overwhelmed. A clear weekly schedule with concrete tasks and times prevents many misunderstandings. Give constructive feedback regularly and check whether the tasks were clearly agreed. Bear in mind: an Au Pair is not a professional housekeeper or a trained childcare worker.

ProblemThe Au Pair is completely exhausted after every working day because they work too much, don't have enough free time, and have too many duties.

SolutionDiscuss the working hours together. The Au Pair is responsible for tasks that involve the children, as well as light housework. If everything becomes too much for an Au Pair, they have to talk to the Host Family. The Host Family may think all is well if the Au Pair doesn't talk about their problems.

ProblemYour Au Pair doesn't stick to agreements (times, tasks, rules).

SolutionAddress this immediately, but in a calm tone. State concretely what you expect (examples, times, standards). Set down a short written agreement and hold a weekly check-in.

ProblemYour Au Pair does tasks differently than you'd like (routines/quality).

SolutionProvide hands-on training: show it 1–2 times, do it together with your Au Pair at first, before they then carry out the tasks alone. Give constructive feedback with examples ("Please do it like this…" instead of "That was bad"). Don't expect your Au Pair to read your mind.

ProblemYour Au Pair is often ill or unreliable, forgets appointments, cancels at very short notice, or doesn't stick to agreed times.

SolutionClarify what is "genuine" illness and what is organisation. Draw up a plan: doctor's visit, rest, a temporary adjustment. A shared calendar and written confirmations for changes help. If the pattern persists, seek a conversation and talk about strain/homesickness/fit as well as the next steps.

ProblemThe Au Pair barely engages the children actively, sits on their phone while supervising, doesn't pay enough attention to hazards, or forgets pick-up times.

SolutionAs soon as the children's safety or health is at risk, act immediately – the Au Pair should not be solely responsible until the matter is resolved. For smaller difficulties, clear explanations, practising together and concrete examples help. Especially in the first few weeks, an Au Pair still has to learn the family's daily routine.

ProblemThe children don't accept the Au Pair.

SolutionThe situation is new for the children too, and they'll need some time to get used to it. It's best to call the Au Pair together with your children beforehand via Skype, so the children can also form a first impression. Once the Au Pair has joined your family, include them in family activities. That way your children experience the Au Pair as a family member and not as a substitute for the parents.

ProblemThe Au Pair's parenting methods differ from those of the Host Family, and the Host Family doesn't agree with them.

SolutionPeople usually adopt some parenting methods they learned at home, at school and so on. Even if the Au Pair has different methods, these can bring fresh ideas. But the host parents always set the style of upbringing for their children. Discuss this with the Au Pair and explain the methods they should follow. An Au Pair may not use physical violence against the child, even if the host parents use that method.

ProblemDishes are left standing, the kitchen is left dirty, or laundry is washed incorrectly.

SolutionDistinguish between child-related tasks and general housework. An Au Pair takes on light, child-related tasks – not cleaning the whole house. Show routines in practice (demonstrate 1–2 times, then do it together) and give concrete feedback instead of blanket criticism.

ProblemThe Au Pair doesn't take much care of their personal hygiene, or their room is dirty.

SolutionIdeas about hygiene vary from country to country. Learn about cultural differences and have the conversation in private, respectfully and concretely – instead of "You're unhygienic", better: "Please bring dishes to the kitchen every evening and take out the rubbish regularly." You may set basic hygiene rules for shared spaces.

ProblemThe Au Pair refuses to speak another language, always says "yes" out of insecurity, or can't communicate with the Host Family.

SolutionEncourage the Au Pair to speak! Involve them in your conversations and ask questions. Show interest in the Au Pair's culture and life. Remember to speak clearly and slowly at first and to repeat sentences if necessary. Make sure your Au Pair has enough time to attend a language course.

ProblemThe Au Pair spends too much time online and is always near their smartphone, laptop or tablet even while supervising the children.

SolutionAn Au Pair shouldn't be online constantly while working and watching the children. Define "phone rules while on duty" (only for emergencies/short messages, otherwise put away) and explain the reasons (safety/supervision). Internet use during free time, on the other hand, shouldn't be forbidden. You can discuss this point before the stay and set it down in the Au Pair contract.

ProblemThe Au Pair spends a large part of their time on the phone and makes expensive international calls because they miss family and friends.

SolutionTalk to the Au Pair and agree on rules for phone and internet use: video calling can be a great solution for seeing family and friends. As a Host Family, you can support the Au Pair by making them feel warmly welcome. To help the Au Pair connect with others, they can take part in activities to meet new people and enrol in a language course.

ProblemYour Au Pair is isolated and unhappy, frequently withdraws to their room, and takes little part in family life ("lives as if in a hotel").

SolutionA certain amount of withdrawal is normal – the Au Pair lives and works in the same house and needs privacy. Homesickness or linguistic insecurity also play a role. Actively support integration: keep the language-course time free, point out groups/events, and enable mobility. Offer shared time without the Au Pair having to be "always available".

ProblemThe Au Pair goes out every night and is always tired at work or shows up hungover.

SolutionThe Host Family should respect the way the Au Pair spends their free time. Even so, how they spend it shouldn't affect their daily tasks in the family. You may expect the Au Pair to be reliable, well-rested and fit for work at the agreed start of work. Talk about the situation and find a solution together.

ProblemShared spaces are left messy, quiet hours are ignored, or the Au Pair invites guests over without asking or lets friends stay the night.

SolutionCreate clear house rules that are fair and transparent: rules about visiting and quiet hours, that overnight stays are only allowed by arrangement, and that shared areas are left clean. Make clear whether the Au Pair is allowed to invite people over. The Au Pair must accept these rules and talk to the Host Family about any disagreements – and, in turn, the family respects the Au Pair's privacy.

ProblemThe Au Pair uses illegal streaming sites or downloads something illegally.

SolutionThe Au Pair may not be aware that streaming is illegal and punishable in some countries. As a Host Family, you should talk to the Au Pair about the importance of complying with the country's law, and set this as a house rule if needed.

ProblemThe Au Pair has a driving licence but no driving experience.

SolutionTake the time to drive with the Au Pair and let them practise a little so they can get used to the car. Check the driving licence, insurance cover and country-specific regulations. If it doesn't work safely, consider whether the Au Pair is better off travelling by public transport – in which case the children shouldn't be transported by car alone.

ProblemConflicts arise over money/extras (tickets, fuel, outings, purchases) or unusually high electricity/water usage.

SolutionDraw up a cost list: who pays for what? How is it reimbursed? What has to be agreed in advance? Explain before the start which things are included and which private expenses the Au Pair covers themselves. Groceries are part of board; for expensive special requests, find a fair arrangement together.

ProblemYou've found out that the Au Pair doesn't or can't eat certain things.

SolutionMany young people today follow a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle, or have certain allergies or intolerances. As a rule, we recommend making this information visible on the profile or discussing it during the Au Pair interview. We recommend recording these details about food and intolerances in the Au Pair contract.

ProblemThe Au Pair is afraid of the pet, has an animal-hair allergy, or is expected to care for animals even though this wasn't agreed.

SolutionIdeally clarify allergies, fears and concrete pet-related tasks (feeding, walking, care during holidays) before the match. Caring for animals is not automatically part of an Au Pair's duties and should be arranged by mutual consent and clearly limited.

ProblemSocial media – photos of the children, their names or location data are shared without permission.

SolutionSet a data-protection rule: no photos or videos, location data or names may be shared without your express permission. Put this in writing, along with the consequences of a breach.

ProblemThe Au Pair is monitored or recorded (hidden cameras, tracking), which leads to a lack of trust and privacy.

SolutionSet clear data-protection guidelines: disclose all cameras, never place them in private areas, clearly define what is recorded and why, and agree on boundaries in writing.

ProblemYour trust has been broken (lying, repeated concealment, possibly theft).

SolutionStay objective, document incidents, and hold clarifying conversations. Depending on the severity: a last chance with clear conditions, or ending the program and/or involving the agency. Have any theft checked legally if necessary. In serious cases, it may also be necessary to inform the relevant immigration or foreigners' authority, especially if ending the Au Pair stay affects the visa or residence status. In doing so, observe the regulations of the respective host country.

ProblemHigh-risk behaviour from your Au Pair (alcohol, drugs, smoking, unsafe driving).

SolutionEnforce zero tolerance for anything that endangers children. In case of acute danger, you must immediately ensure supervision, draw consequences, and inform the agency or program office (and take further steps depending on the situation). Don't wait here for a long-term improvement.

ProblemThe Au Pair behaves inappropriately towards the children, makes sexualised or otherwise boundary-crossing remarks, oversteps physical boundaries, or uses physical punishment.

SolutionThe safety of the children always comes first. Make it unmistakably clear from the outset that physical punishment such as hitting, slapping, holding a child down as punishment, or other forms of physical violence are not allowed. The same applies to sexualised, intimidating or other inappropriate behaviour. In the event of a serious incident, you should end the Au Pair's care immediately, document the incident, and, depending on the situation, involve the agency, AuPair.com or the relevant authorities.

ProblemA conflict with the Au Pair escalates, or you feel strongly provoked by their behaviour. There is shouting, threats, intimidation or physical confrontation.

SolutionEven in serious conflicts, physical punishment and violence towards the Au Pair are never acceptable. Hitting, shoving, holding down, locking in, or other physical punishments are expressly forbidden. Do not try to resolve a conflict physically or to punish the Au Pair. End the situation, create distance, and seek support from the agency or another relevant body if needed. In case of acute danger, the police or emergency services should be contacted.

ProblemThe cultural differences seem to be bigger than expected.

SolutionRead and talk about the culture of the host country and of the Au Pair's home country before the Au Pair's arrival. The idea of the Au Pair program is a cultural exchange in which both sides should be open and willing to get to know a new culture.

ProblemNot all complaints are justified. Some expectations – all-day sole care, cleaning the whole house, constant availability – are not part of the Au Pair program.

SolutionHonestly review the original agreements. An Au Pair is temporary support within a cultural exchange – not a cheap full-time worker. Tasks, working hours, pocket money and free time must comply with the program rules. Always listen to the Au Pair's point of view too.

ProblemYour needs change during the stay (a new baby, a change in the school schedule, more childcare), and the arrangement no longer fits.

SolutionArrange a meeting to adjust the contract, update the tasks and working hours in writing, and organise additional childcare if necessary. If the new arrangements no longer comply with the framework of the program, plan a respectful rematch/transition solution.