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How to Choose the Right Au Pair for Your Family

Choosing the right Au Pair means finding someone who not only meets your practical needs but also fits well with your family’s lifestyle and values. It’s important to consider things like language skills, driving ability, comfort with pets, dietary habits, and childcare experience. Just as important is the Au Pair’s personality—do your values match, and will your children feel comfortable around them? Take time to get to know the candidate through video calls, and involve your kids in the process.

Continue reading to find out more about two main selection criteria:

Basic information about the Au Pair
The Au Pair’s character

Are you wondering which criteria you need to consider in order to find the perfect Au Pair or which candidates you can exclude from the selection process? Many families are often overwhelmed by Au Pair requests and finally struggle with choosing the right candidate. We advise Host Families not only to consider the perspective of their family, but also to put themselves in the shoes of the potential Au Pair. Do you meet his/her wishes and expectations? Do you think you can cooperate with him/her on a human and intellectual level? It is important that the Au Pair is seen as part of the family and not as a housekeeper.

To avoid a possible early termination of the Au Pair relationship, you should invest enough time in the selection process.

These are the most important points to choose the perfect Au Pair for your family.

Basic information about the Au Pair

First of all, you need to clarify a few general questions, e.g. the Au Pair's language skills, his/her diet or experience with pets.

Area of residence

In which area do you live and where did the Au Pair grow up? If the Au Pair comes from a big city and you live in a rural area, you should clarify with the candidate whether he/she is open to living in a different area than the one he/she is used to.

Children’s Age

If the Au Pair has indicated a certain preferred age group of the future Host Kids because he/she has experience with it and your children are older or younger, this should not be an obstacle at first. However, it is important to clarify with the candidate before your stay whether he/she would be willing to look after toddlers, for example, if the Au Pair only has experience in working with teenagers.

Single parents

On our platform, as you may have already experienced, you have the possibility to indicate if you are a single parent. This is important since not all Au Pairs are familiar with this way of life or expect too much responsibility. The supervision of the children is only shared between two, rather than three adults. Many female Au Pairs also do not feel comfortable living with a single father. If you are a single parent, please check with the Au Pair if he/she would be open to such a living arrangement.

Children with disabilities

Does your child have a physical or mental disability? Not all Au Pairs are experienced or confident in supervising children with disabilities. If this is not stated in the Au Pair's profile, you should clarify with the candidate in a personal message or conversation whether such an option is even imaginable for him/her.

The Au Pair’s gender

Depending on your children’s character and preference it could be worth considering adding a male Au Pair to your family. Talk to your kids and try to understand if it might be beneficial for them hosting a male Au Pair as a “big brother”. You should also check with the Au Pair if he/she feels comfortable with supervising children of the opposite gender only.

Foreign language

Does the potential Au Pair already speak your national language? If not, you should consider that in most countries at least a basic knowledge of the language is a requirement for the Au Pair stay. Furthermore, you should not assume that your new family member is suitable as a language tutor. Although having a native speaker in the home can be beneficial, this is not part of the Au Pair's duties.

Driving a car

If you need an Au Pair who has a driving license to pick up your kids or drive them to different activities, you should check in the applicants’ profiles if they actually own one. Before entering the country, the Au Pair must contact the relevant authorities and ask whether the driving license is recognised in the host country.

Driving a bicycle

As with driving a car, it is important to clarify before the stay whether your future Au Pair can ride a bicycle. If this is not the case, it may be possible to learn how to ride a bike relatively quickly in the host country.

Pets

If you have pets, it is probably an advantage to host an Au Pair who already has experience in living with pets. An Au Pair who has never had much contact with a dog, for example, might be put off because of hygienic reasons or the noise.

Food

Many Host Families are not aware that the diet of their future Au Pair might be completely different from their own. This could lead to problems if the Au Pair eats a strictly vegan diet and the Host Family consumes meat or dairy very often. Even if the Au Pair does not have to prepare the food, you should clarify before making arrangements how the diet will work in your home.

The Au Pair's character

Once the general questions mentioned before have been clarified, you can concentrate on the details. Now you have to find out whether the Au Pair fits into your family as a new member! In order to figure this out, it is important that you conduct several video calls with the candidate. If possible, you can also involve your children and ask them for their gut feeling - children are usually very sensitive about these things!

Ask yourself the following questions:

Does the candidate fit into my family in terms of character?
Do we share a similar sense of humour?
Do we share similar basic values? (e.g. authenticity, tolerance, honesty, creativity).
Can I imagine that my children will get along well with the candidate and feel comfortable?
Is the candidate really interested in the Au Pair stay or does he/she only want to get to the country in order to look for a job?

We recommend that you do not exclusively look for an Au Pair of a certain nationality, but that you broaden your choice of country and pay more attention to the character traits. There is no country with particularly "good" or particularly "bad" Au Pairs. Pay attention to the response rate and the activity of the candidate to save yourself extra time. If you do not find a candidate who wants to come to your country and meets your requirements, widen your search for candidates.

We hope that this article will help you in the selection process of your future Au Pair!

Why is AuPair.com the best au pair online agency?: Since 1999, AuPair.com has been trusted by countless Host Families and Au Pairs, earning its reputation as the best au pair online agency. With over 80.000 active users and the largest pool of candidates as Au Pair world wide, we provide families with exceptional options. Our platform is available in 9 languages and offers free resources, affordable memberships, and an intuitive, user-friendly interface. Our fast and efficient customer service and safety team ensure a seamless and reliable experience, making AuPair.com the preferred choice for childcare and cultural exchange.

How can I contact an Au Pair?: You need to visit the Au Pair’s profile and drop a message there. You can also add an Au Pair to your hotlist. In both cases, the Au Pair will get notifications from you instantly. If you have a basic account, you can send standard invitations to Au Pairs. The Premium Membership allows personalized messages as well. Please get more information here.

How long does it take to find an Au Pair?: It depends on several factors. Make sure your profile is full and interesting for other users. Make sure that you meet the Host Family requirements set by the Au Pair program. Be active and contact about 10-15 Au Pairs per day. If you follow the three tips above you can find a suitable match within one to four weeks. Check out our Host Family guide for more advice and ideas on how to find an Au Pair faster.

What are the requirements to host an Au Pair?: There are three most important requirements: the Au Pair accommodation, full board and monthly/weekly sum of pocket money. We recommend to go through the full list of requirements for Host Families. If you meet them, you can register as a Host Family today and find an Au Pair that matches your criteria.

How can I find a candidate that is already located in my country of residence?: Some Host Families need support very promptly. Therefore, we often get the question how to find candidates on our platform who are already located in the family’s country of residence and want to change Host Family.

To do this, you need to:

1) go to the dashboard menu on the left side after logging into your profile

2) click “Search” and then “Search criteria”

3) select for the option "Candidates currently living in" your country of residence

4) select "all” for the option “Nationality“

5) tag the box “Save preferences” and click on “Find”

6) make sure that your “preferences” match your search criteria