Different countries, different parenting style - Did my Au Pair go too far?

As a Host Family you enjoy the freedom of choosing an Au Pair from a whole different part of the world. In many cases a Host Family is not aware in which way the parenting styles in different countries can still tremendously differ from each other. The Au Pair has different cultural backgrounds and moral values.

All of a sudden a shocking realization: the Au Pair is rather aggressive towards the children, they possibly experienced physical harm. Did my Au Pair go too far? How much freedom can I allow my Au Pair?

 
What are you supposed to do?

Particularly in the initial phase it is important to introduce the parenting method of the Host Family to the Au Pair. The Au Pair will spend more time educating the children than the Family itself. Therefore, it is fundamental to present the basics. Especially when moral values and cultural backgrounds differ completely.

Furthermore, it is essential to take your time as Host Family and explain your own culture to your new Au Pair. Most of the time, the parenting styles of the Au Pair are taken from experiences of their own childhood or school etc. Of course it can also be pure insecurity of the Au Pair. Therefore, it is of high priority to give the Au Pair an insight of the Host Families principles and in order to take the uncertainty explain how far the Au Pair can go. In the end, the method of parenting of the Host Family is the one that counts.

However, different parenting methods imply new ideas for Host Families and some freedom of parenting should be given. But it should be an individual decision of every family and should not violate their own fundamental beliefs. Physical harm against children must not be practiced.