Hosting an Au Pair can be an exciting experience for your family, but what happens if your Au Pair doesn't arrive as planned? What to do if your Au Pair missed the flight, had an emergency, or suddenly stopped responding to your messages or calls? Any of these situations most likely will leave you overwhelmed and stressed. When we received an email from a Host Family who got into such trouble and asked for advice, we decided to write a guide on what to do in this situation. We hope this blog post will save you a lot of nerves!

Step 1: Stay calm and assess the situation

Even though it is completely reasonable to be disappointed and nervous when something does not go according to your plan, try to remain calm. Recognize that unexpected situations, such as flight delays, missed connections, or personal emergencies, can happen. A focused mindset will help you communicate more effectively and make better decisions.

Take a moment to gather all the facts. If your Au Pair did not show any signs of hesitation in the past and your communication was clear and open, there might be a reasonable explanation for his or her disappearance. We encourage you to never ignore any questions or concerns from your future Au Pair. It is vital to create a feeling of trust between you even before you meet each other for the first time. Stay in touch through video calls or messaging apps every week, or even every few days, before his/her departure. It will help you stay connected and notice if something goes wrong. 

Step 2: Reach out to the Au Pair

Start by calling or texting the Au Pair directly. Politely express your concern for their well-being and safety. Your friendly attitude may encourage the Au Pair to respond. Avoid sounding confrontational or angry as this may stress out the Au Pair and make him or her feel afraid to get in touch with you. If the Au Pair doesn’t answer, try reaching out to his or her parents or emergency contacts. Sometimes, devices or the internet connection fail, so there is a chance the Au Pair just cannot get your message or call.
Be persistent but not too pushy. Give the Au Pair a reasonable timeframe to answer before assuming the worst. If the Au Pair keeps ignoring you, document your attempts to get in touch with him or her.

Step 3: Verify travel information

Check the status of the flight your Au Pair was supposed to take. Most airlines and airports offer real-time updates online. If the flight was delayed or canceled, this could explain the situation.

If the Au Pair missed the flight, ask him or her to contact the airline to rebook. A lot of airlines offer options to reschedule for a certain fee or use standby. If your Au Pair is not familiar with this process, he or she will most likely feel overwhelmed by this situation. You can offer to help with finding information or support covering rebooking costs. 

Step 4: Organize temporary childcare option

Reach out to trusted friends or family members who may be able to help you cover short-term gaps. You can also contact your local babysitting service or childcare provider. If your work schedule is affected, discuss flexible hours or remote work with your employer, until the situation is resolved.

Be honest with your children about the situation and explain the delay.

Step 5: Be flexible with arrival plans

If the delay has happened because of an emergency (e.g., a family crisis or illness), show your understanding and work with the Au Pair to plan a new arrival date. Let the Au Pair know that you’re willing to work through challenges as long as he or she is honest and keeps in touch with you. Being flexible can help maintain a good relationship with the Au Pair and ensure a smooth adaptation upon arrival.

Step 6: Check your recent communication with the Au Pair

If the Au Pair is ignoring your messages or calls, this could indicate a lack of commitment from his or her side. Look through your recent conversations and check if your Au Pair expressed any doubts or hesitation about the upcoming travel. Miscommunication might have contributed to the situation.

If you feel that you are being ignored by the Au Pair on purpose, please, get in touch with our customer support. We will check the Au Pair’s account and will try to get in touch from our side. If the Au Pair is too nervous to speak with you, we will try to help you establish contact again. 

Step 7: Prepare for a replacement

If it becomes clear that the Au Pair will not be able to join your family (refuse to buy a new ticket, keep ignoring you, or have a prolonged emergency), try looking for someone who is already in your country. A lot of candidates on our website are in need of an urgent rematch or looking to combine studies with working as an Au Pair. You can also try reaching out to one of our partner full-time agencies, who can find a replacement faster than you can do it on your own. Do not hesitate to get in touch with our customer care. Even though we won't be able to find you a new Au Pair directly, we will try to help you within our abilities.

When interviewing new candidates, bring up your negative experience and reasons why you are looking for an Au Pair urgently. This will help your potential rematch to understand the importance of reliability and communication and will help you to choose the best person for your current needs.

Step 8: Document everything

Keep track of all your interactions with the Au Pair, including emails, texts, call attempts, and flight details. This record will be helpful if you decide to raise a complaint against the Au Pair or even go to the police if you think that the Au Pair is planning to stay in your country illegally. 

Documentation is especially important if you’ve already made payments for the Au Pair’s flight or other arrangements. However, we encourage you to avoid buying tickets for your Au Pair directly or sending money to the Au Pair.

Step 9: Reassess expectations and create a backup plan

Use this situation as an opportunity to reconsider your expectations for the Au Pair program. Discuss with your family what went wrong and how to prevent similar issues in the future. Prepare a good back-up plan for unexpected delays or emergencies. You can also make a list of local babysitters or childcare centers available on short notice. 

We hope that, by following these steps, you can navigate the challenging situation of a delayed or missing Au Pair. Remember that open communication, flexibility, and a proactive approach can turn this challenge into a manageable and educational moment for your family.