⏱ Reading time: 4 min.

What should you do if your rights as an Au Pair have been infringed?

We know that the illusion of being an Au Pair is a dream shared by many people around the world. However, although our team makes every effort to ensure that all parties have a good experience, there are cases in which the Host Family may not comply with the rules of the program and may violate the rights of the Au Pair.

If your rights as an Au Pair are not respected—such as not receiving pocket money, meals, or time off—speak openly with your Host Family and refer to your signed contract. If the situation doesn’t improve, look for a new family and report the issue on the platform with evidence. In cases of serious abuse or mistreatment, leave immediately, seek local support, and report it to the police and your embassy.

Read on and find out more information on what to do in those cases.

Since its creation, the Au Pair program has helped thousands of Host Families and candidates from all over the world to live an enriching experience of cultural and linguistic exchange. In fact, we, at AuPair.com, can assure you that most of the people who participate in the program express their satisfaction with its results.
 

Countless Au Pair candidates from all over the world have benefited from the Au Pair adventure to grow personally and professionally, and to create unforgettable memories.
 

However, on the flip side of the coin, situations in which some Host Families exploit and mistreat their Au Pair are not uncommon. The absence of a precise regulation in most of the countries where the program takes place, makes Au Pairs victims of a legal limbo in which they are not considered as formal workers or employees, but as “family members”.
 

This unclear status allows some families to take advantage of the imbalance of power that exists between them and their Au Pair so that the candidates become underpaid domestic employees with lots of extra hours of work. 
 

At AuPair.com, we completely condemn this type of mistreatment, and we strive to help candidates live a true exchange experience in which they genuinely become members of the Family during the period they decide to stay in the host country. 


We are not a full-service agency. This means that we do not have the influence or legal power to help the candidates report any kind of mistreatment received by the Host Family to the local authorities of the host country. Of course, this does not mean that Au Pairs are helpless or that we are not interested in their welfare during their stay. Our team works hard to process, as soon as possible, any complaint filed by users of our platform. However, we feel it is important to emphasize that our power of action only allows us to block undesirable profiles from having contact with any other member of our website. Click here to find out how our team deals with complaints we receive and what action we take to ensure a resolution. 
 

The good news is that there are several effective measures you can take to find the ideal family and make the most of your stay. Here are some tips you can follow to stay away from and/or protect yourself from families that do not fulfill their obligations as hosts. For this, we will divide the most common problems that occur into two categories: Violation of your rights as an Au Pair and Violation of your rights as a human being. 

What to do if your rights as an Au Pair are violated? 

Firstly, we must be precise about what we mean by your “rights as an Au Pair”. Pay attention, because before starting the program, it must be clear to you what these rights are, and you should make sure, through the interviews with your family, that they also know them. As an Au Pair, you are entitled to: 


  • An Au Pair contract signed by you and your Host Family before the start of your stay.

  • A private room that you can lock. 

  • Three full meals a day.

  • A fixed amount of pocket money paid promptly (the amount varies depending on the host country). 

  • A fixed work schedule that does not exceed the number of hours established by the program in your host country. 

  • A certain amount of days off and vacations in accordance with your host country’s regulations. 

  • Time off to attend your language course


If the interaction between you and the family does not work out, you also have the right to receive advance notice to allow you to find another family or place to stay in the host country. 
 

In some countries, the Host Family must even provide the Au pair with medical insurance
 

In case you do not receive some of these benefits:
 

The first thing you should do is to speak directly with the Family. Speak clearly about how you want things to be, you can even rely on the contract you should have previously signed. Try to be assertive and respectful at all times. Good communication should be one of the priorities of the coexistence between you. 
 

If you don't notice any change after you have expressed your dissatisfaction, it's time to consider changing your host family. Make sure you have alternatives, do not close or inactivate your AuPair.com account. Look for another family in your area as soon as possible, and let your current host family know well in advance that you have decided to leave. 
 

If you want, you can file a complaint on our platform. This will prevent other users from going through similar problems as you. Please note that we can only process complaints that are supported by evidence. So always try to keep screenshots of important conversations with your family, and a copy of your contract
 

Remember, it's good to be flexible, but not too much. It is clear that there is an imbalance of power between Au Pair Families and Au Pairs, but your rights should not be negotiable. If you don't get what you deserve, it is up to you to find a family that does respect the rules of the program. We assure you that there are plenty of them on our platform. 

What to do if your rights as a human being are violated? 

Here we get more serious, the violation of human rights is something much more grave and requires the intervention of the authorities of the host country. There are several ways in which a Family can violate your rights, these are some of them: 


  • You have been a victim of physical, verbal, or psychological abuse (you were beaten, insulted, or they try to manipulate you to do things you don't want to do). 

  • You have been sexually harassed by a family member. 

  • You were locked up and left without food for several hours or days. 

  • You have had to deal with a parent who is intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. 

In either case, we recommend you proceed as follows: 


  1. Get out. The above are non-negotiable cases. Locate a support group, as soon as you arrive in the host country so that you can go to another place in case you have problems. These supporters can be a local Au Pair group, international friends, or even your country's consulate. 

  2. Be sure to collect evidence and file a report with your local law enforcement office. You can go to the police to report your case. The process will be much easier if you have proof. Remember, save screenshots, images, or videos that can help you demonstrate you have been a victim of that family. Is there any entity that intervened in the process of obtaining your Au Pair status? Contact them. You are not losing anything, on the contrary, you are helping to ensure that your abusers receive the full weight of the law. 

  3. If you have difficulty speaking the local language, ask someone from your support network for help. Some police stations, in particular host countries, also have translators who can assist you in communicating. 

  4. Don't forget to file a complaint on our platform as well. This will help us to protect other users. 


    If you are in immediate danger or need emergency help, call the emergency number of your host country. Click here to find some useful phone numbers and resources. 

 
How to avoid scammers?
If you are contacted by someone who seems to be unreliable, pay attention to the following:
  • If there is an email address in the profile picture
  • You have been asked to make a transfer through MoneyGram, Western Union, or to set up some deposit account.
  • You have been contacted by some agency or a lawyer. They might have sent you a visa application or sample contract.
  • Someone advises you to pay rent for a flat. 
  • The Au Pair just asked you to pay for the flight ticket. Although some Au Pairs expect Host Families to help them with travel costs, there are certain rules of cost refund. 
  • The Host Family contacts you on Facebook. 
These are some of the most popular scam situations. If you encounter any of these before our administrators, or if you ever feel uneasy, please get in touch with us so we can take measures against scammers. Learn more about Au Pair scam schemes that might happen.
Is AuPair.com safe?
Yes! We do our best to check every user of our platform. Nonetheless, AuPair.com follows the same rules as many other Internet communities. This is why we recommend to arrange a video-call and ask about all the important details in person. In case you feel uncomfortable, get in touch with us! You can find our contact form here
My Au Pair stay went wrong! Can you help me?
We always recommend to have an honest conversation with your Host Family about the problems occurred and find a solution together. Most of the troubles can be solved through communication and feedback! If you can’t find a way out, you can consider contract termination. We recommend you to respect the notice period that is mentioned in your Au Pair contract. During this time both you and your Host Family can find an alternative solution. E.g. you can reactivate your profile at AuPair.com and try to find another Host Family. Be supportive to each other in any case.  AuPair.com can’t help you personally in this case as we are an online matching agency with no external offices in the host countries.
What is the process of becoming an Au Pair?
The Au Pair program is primarily a cultural exchange, thus Host Family and Au Pair need to belong to different nationalities. Below you can see a step-by-step guide that will help you become a part of the Au Pair experience. 
1. Register on AuPair.com and create your profile. As an Au Pair you can use the AuPair.com platform for free: send messages, browse profiles and get many other benefits after the registration. To stand out among the participants, you need to create an interesting profile.
2. Search for a prospective Host Family. Once you are signed in as an Au Pair, you can start searching for Host Families in different countries. The platform gives you the opportunity to browse families that match your preferences and destinations. In addition to AuPair.com's suggestions, you can add other families to your Favorites. This way you will have a selected list of users you are interested in. Each added family will receive a notification.
3. Meet up during the video-interview. After shortlisting the most suitable families, it is really important to talk to them to get to know each other better. During the interview both parties will share their expectations and talk about the important details of the cooperation. You will be able to see which family suits you best. In addition to this, a live video-call will protect you from possible scam attempts. Since scammers are afraid to reveal their identity, they usually refuse to join video-calls.
4. Sign the Au Pair contract and close other formalities. The Au Pair contract is a formal document stating all important details discussed between you and your future Host Family. It can help you avoid many possible misunderstandings and problems during the stay. Download the template of the Au Pair contract and edit it together with your Host Family according to your needs and the host country’s laws. Sign the contract and keep it with you. It is one of the visa requirements, though you might also need it for other formalities. 
5. Prepare for your trip. There are many important things you need to consider before going abroad: clarifying formalities with the host country’s embassy if you need a visa, gathering all the documents you need for registration in the host country, making sure your insurance coverage is sufficient, packing the suitcase, booking the tickets.  If the Host Family is willing to help you with the travel costs, we recommend writing it down in the Au Pair contract and define the installments that will be added to your monthly pocket money during the year. Nevertheless, it is not a responsibility of the Host Family to cover travel expenses. 
6. Adapt to the new country. Once you have arrived it's time to get to know your Host Family and the place where you will be living. Normally, it will take some time for the children to adapt to a new person, so don't worry if they seem distant at the beginning.
7. Enjoy your Au Pair experience. Don’t forget that the Au Pair program gives you a unique opportunity to stay abroad for some time and gain new experiences. Explore the country and local culture, meet new people and make sure you enjoy this experience to the max
I have a problem with my Host Family/Au Pair.
We always recommend having an honest conversation with your Au Pair/Host Family about the problems occurred and find a solution together. Most of the troubles can be solved through communication and feedback! If you can’t find a way out, you can consider contract termination. We recommend you to respect the notice period that is mentioned in the Au Pair contract. During this time both Au Pair and Host Family can find an alternative solution. Be supportive to each other in any case.  AuPair.com can’t help you personally in this case as we are an online matching agency with no external offices in the host countries.


● ● ●
More